Mindful Communication Series Part 2: Considering Communication Styles

Photo by itsPortAdelaide on Unsplash

Now that we understand what it means to consider what the other human we’re connecting with needs, let’s discuss how communication styles play a role in mindful communication. There are many different styles of communication and for this article, I’ll focus on the DiSC method because this is the one I know best for identifying styles. If you have done DiSC before and know what your style is, you can start to think about how your style may impact others.
 
D – Dominance: direct, strong-willed and forceful

I – Influence: sociable, talkative and lively

S – Steadiness: gentle, accommodating and soft-hearted

C – Conscientiousness: private, analytical and logical
 (Source: https://www.discprofiles.com/blog/2011/12/disc-profile-definition/)

For me, I fall primarily in the dominance category. Although most people have multiple communication styles they use in different situations, using dominance for me can pose unique challenges when interacting with other styles. I often have been told I come across as impersonal, blunt, too direct, or uncaring. Likewise, when interacting with others who are influencers, I find them to be brash, egotistical, unorganized, and sometimes flighty. However, recognizing the strengths of how we use our communication style and the opportunities to use it more effectively, helps us move towards more mindful communication. 
 
If you haven’t taken the DiSC profile yet, take a look at the website or the quick definition provided above to see where you may fall, then try the activity below. If you have taken the DiSC profile and you know where you are, consider these five tips during your next conversation. 

1. Take stock of your current mood and acknowledge your communication style.
2. Try to identify which type of communication style the other person has and think of how the way you communicate may impact them. 
3. Flex your style to be a little more like theirs – you may find that the conversation goes better and is more productive. 
4. Don’t rely on your communication style to be a scapegoat for reacting negatively or behaving poorly (this can be hard!).
5. And a key for mindful communication:Challenge yourself throughout each new conversation (including text and email) to consider how your communication style is influencing the conversation.

Communication can sometimes be tricky, especially with those individuals who have communication styles opposite from us. However, if you can try to think about how your style of communication can make the other person feel, then that is what will help you get the most out of the conversation and possibly relationship. I love this quote by Carl W. Buechner, "They may forget what you said - but they will never forget how you made them feel." Keep that in mind the next conversation you have – and yes that includes me too! 
 
Stay posted for the third and final mindful communication article next week when I discuss the lens we bring to communication.